Obama's high school pot dealer who he thanked for the 'good times' was beaten to death with a hammer by his gay lover

(Raymond Boyer, known as 'Gay Ray' to Obama and his marijuana smoking 'Choom Gang', was bludgeoned to death with a hammer seven years after he sold the future president and his friends drugs. His lover Andrew Devere, a male prostitute, gave police a laundry list of reasons for the killing, including that Boyer, a surfer and unemployed chef, constantly put him down, made him beg for drugs and had a habit of breaking wind in his face.)

For Marines in Afghanistan: be careful where you fart

A Golden Ticket to Muslim Etiquette by Gina Cavallaro in Military Times, August 23 (thanks to Shiek):

Bukhari Vol 1 Bk 11 Nbr 582: Mohammed said, “When the Adhan is pronounced Satan takes to his heels and passes wind with noise during his flight in order not to hear the Adhan.

Perfect comedy timing. Barney mentions JOBS right as a fart comes out of his ass. That was no QUEEF!