Save my Cat's Nuts

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Click to feel betrayed

Imaginary Blue State Master Race Seeks Expanded Eugenics Program: We all know that blue state people feel that they are better then the using-more-than-one-square-of-toilet-paper counterparts in the red states. Until now, Blue States want to cut my Cat's nuts off.


My mother is whacked... I just got this male cat and she told me they passed a law in N.Y. state that says I have to cut his balls off...

...oh she lied. Sorry. Leftists do that you know. Part of the whole feminist thing.

Democrats

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I grew up a Democrat. It always seemed to me to be the party that stood up against religious intolerance... I have never voted for a Candidate (even Kerry) that did not come from the party. Now that I am seriously considering voting for a Republican... it frightens me to see all the intolerant people switching to the Democrats and being told that this is probably going to be the dominant party. But since politics works the way it does... I know whatever side I am going to be on... the dominant mainstream oppressive motion will go in the opposite. At least when I was a Democrat, the religious right were keeping my taxes down. Now the no Klu Klux Clan is against the war in Iraq... So now we are going to have intolerance and high taxes. I wish some one would point out just one good point for voting for the Democrats. Health care? Was not Clinton president for eight years (two with the houses in his favor)? The war in Iraq? Inevitable... unless your the type that reads Noam Chomsky and eats his kids for breakfast. Even France is beginning to come to the same conclusion. Now don't get me wrong... I don't like the N.S.A. inspecting my asshole either..., but I had an experience in Mexico that made me really appreciate this country (flaws and all). I didn't like Ashcroft, Rumsfield or the Florida Vote Fraud... and this Gonzales guy seems to of overstepped himself. But enough of the same shit happened in the Clinton White House. The Democrats and Leftists keep on saying we never learned our lesson from Vietnam.... I do not believe they themselves have. As the worst bloodshed occured in southeast Asia in 1972, Nixon took almost 100% of the vote before Watergate, then after four years of an idiot
named Jimmy Carter...
this country has been voting in the right for almost four decades. So the lesson of Vietnam? Win the war if you want social change... or at least find a better solution then running with your tail between your legs. It's ironic how the "Left" resents Kissinger... he's the guy who ended the South East Asian war... and he's the guy we should look to for ideas now. The "Left" keeps on saying we are learning nothing from history. A wise man knows that to really learn from history... the first thing you must realize is that you can learn nothing from history (at least nothing absolute). You can not apply the Holocaust to Palestinians... and you can't apply South East Asia to the Persian Gulf.
We do not have to punish ourselves for needing oil. We should work to get off of it... but for the time being our civilization needs it to move on to other eco-friendly energy sources and it is fair for us to buy it at a reasonable price that is not politically fluctuated. (this does not excuse some of the actions of the automobile industry) Our political adversaries that were against the war were negotiating with Saddam's government for the same oil... and are destroying the environment in ways that the Kyoto treaty would not of protected the world against. If China surpasses us as a major poluter and our civilization is in decline of strength... how will we convince China to cut pollution levels?Our country did not commit a double standard... it was our enemies that did.


At least I'm not living in a country with radioactive drinks.




Donuts

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As someone who likes to write or work on creative things I have found Dunkin Donuts to be a great place to think and hang out. It lacks the expensive pretension and snobby qualities of Starbucks (this is good) and while I have experienced groping and sexual harassment there, I just can't get over how tasty the bagel, cream cheese and coffee there is. I have a question though... If it is called Dunkin Donuts, why are the Donuts so lousy? The coffee is great though, but if looking for real Donuts find a Krispy Kreme if you can. (They are hard to find and the stock value of the company is a bad investment in a health conscious economy) Still if writing a screenplay… knowing your place for a beverage is a must. Where do you like to hang out?

...so I am thinking about jobs. I am totally broke and I am looking at Starbucks. How in the hell is this one of the hottest corporations out there? I can't figure how they stay in business. They really have nothing to offer. The seating is really no better or no more upscale then any other fast food restaurants. Certainly it is only a matter of time before the competition figures out that an internet connection is a great thing. The bathrooms are always dirty and smelly.... (o.k. Yes they let people generally use it... And they deserve credit for that in New York City).... But why would anybody pay around two dollars for low quality caffiene? Dunkin Donuts coffee is definitely better (Krispy Kreme has the best coffee). I think the prototype is McDonalds these days. After years of doing the same thing of opening all over the place McDonalds (Yes McDonalds) has an excellent corporate strategy of improving each location and worrying less about trying to monopolize location. They already had location. Starbucks could learn a lot from good old McDonalds. The marketing people at McDonalds should be given a marketing kudos. It is unbelievable how they turned this company around. I mean let’s face it.... Those “grilled chicken snackers” are affordable and tasty. However, I still refuse to order the fries after the Supersize movie (Ew that was gross). What in the hell does Starbucks have? Sure those milkshakes are good...., but the McDonalds milkshake is just as good and affordable (Ray Kroc pioneered the milkshake machine not the hamburger). I think within a few years we will be talking about Starbucks as if they had missed the boat like Chock-full-of-nuts.

Here's an idea for a McDonalds commercial... Old lady orders a McWhatchamacalit... and gets Mic Jagger and the Rolling Stones singing... "I can't get no satisfaction"
-Noah

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